Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Halfway point

Yesterday officially marked 20 weeks. Can't believe we are halfway through this pregnancy now!  Here's the latest happenings:

- I started to feel movement at 18 weeks.  I think I may have been feeling it before then, but by 18 weeks I was positive that all those little flutters and pops were the real deal.  I sometimes can't keep from myself from giggling when I feel him move, because it is so amazing.

- We had the "20 week ultrasound" this past Thursday (less than 20 weeks, I  know).  They had  already received my results from the 1st & 2nd trimester prenatal screenings;  all negative.  Everything was measuring just as it should.  And no "surprise" gender change: it's definitely still a boy. However, baby was being extremely stubborn and wouldn't move for them to be able to see all the views of the heart that they wanted.  They couldn't even get any good looks at his face because he was keeping his head tucked down at his chest.  So we had to schedule another u/s for the 29th.  No complaints here! The more we can look at baby boy the better! :)

- There is definitely no denying I have a baby bump now.  More people at work have started asking, and saying they had been noticing for a while but hesitant to ask.  It's pretty exciting!  The funny thing is I still haven't told my students, and they haven't noticed.  One of my co-workers said that maybe they have noticed, but are too scared to say anything.  Nope, not these kids.  With deficits in social skills, they would definitely blurt it out if they had any suspicions of my bump.  However, the student who would be most likely to go "OMG YOU HAVE A BABY IN YOUR BELLY!" has not said that, but twice had told me that I really needed to "get a child" so that I won't be lonely when my husband goes to work....And then proceeded to try to get the rest of the class to vote on whether or not I should have a child.  Of course, I turned that into a teachable moment on why it is not appropriate to ask other people about having kids, or to tell people that they should have kids (or especially to take a vote on it). Still had me and my assistant cracking up though.

- After having so people notice I'm pregnant, and being nearly at the halfway point, on Friday evening I decided that it was time to come out of the closet on Facebook.  DH was really against it at first, saying that I always got mad when other people announced on FB.  I explained that I did not get angry at pregnancy announcements themselves, even though there have been times I couldn't help but feel a little bitter, especially if it was announced in such a way/so early that made it obvious that it was quite easy for them to conceive or that they take it for granted.  What makes me angry is when people announce/update with complaints (especially of weight gain) or give any other sense of ungratefulness.  So what we wanted to do was share our joy, yet at the same time acknowledge those who may still be struggling and share hope that they will be blessed someday, someway, somehow.  I am not joking when I tell you that we deliberated for hours on what to post (oh, how we put so much thought into social networking these days),  and finally decided to say:
"It is such a miracle to feel a human being moving and kicking inside of me.  I wish everybody was able to experience this, and my heart breaks for those who never can.  But God has a wealth of miracles in store for everyone, even when we don't know what his exact plan will be.  I can't wait for [DH] and I to meet our son in just 20 weeks and see what other wonders God will work in our lives."
We got an enormous amount of responses.  I just hope I still did not unintentionally cause any bitterness, because it was not that long ago for me; I have not forgotten.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The first "suspicions"

This afternoon, my assistant informed me that 2 of the speech therapists asked her if I was pregnant.  Because "her belly wouldn't look like that if she was just gaining weight."  I guess this is for real for real: I have officially crossed into the realm of causing others to be suspicious, and it's not just all that Thanksgiving turkey talking.

But of course, I'm sure all that turkey helped a little.  :)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

What's been happening in the past month.....

Here I am at almost 17 weeks.....I'd say an update is long overdue right?  Ack.  The problem is I have so much I want to write about that it overwhelms me and I keep putting it off.  Now I have too much to write about so I'll have to give a slightly condensed version of what's been happening:

The NT scan:
We had the NT scan on October 31.  It was nice to get a long look at our little one.  Although I must say, I did actually get bored while the u/s tech was taking some of the measurements.  I seriously could watch the little hands and feet all day instead of looking at the brain lol!  The good thing is that they burned a DVD of the u/s so we can watch it whenever we like!  As far as screening results, everything was looking good and right on track.  The only thing abnormal was small jugular lymphatic sacs, but the doctor said that is not very significant since there are no other abnormalities, and this is something that will usually go away later on in the pregnancy.
Also.....the u/s tech asked us if we wanted to know the sex if it was possible to tell, so we said yes.  Sure enough, when we got to that part of the u/s, we could definitely see something.  I thought that 13 weeks was still a little too early to tell, but the tech and the doctor were so certain that they put "male fetus" on the report.  So now we are thinking blue and arguing over trying to pick a boy name.  ;)

The new OB:
I went for a consultation with a new OB the week after my NT scan.  DH wasn't able to come with me so I went alone.  But that's ok: for the most part it was uneventful other than getting to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler.  I'm not sure yet how I feel about this OB.  I was trying not to judge the book by its cover and let the fact that he is reeeeeally old get to me.   He was just a bit odd, but never did or said anything that made me uncomfortable.  I did ask a couple questions about his views on induction and laboring options, and his views seem in agreement with mine.  I know I still have plenty of time to switch OBs if I need to.

Now let's talk about.......

The sickness:
Well, vomiting is at a running total of 6 times so far.  Hopefully I will have no more of that.  But it usually happens in the morning when I haven't eaten enough yet and/or I get grossed out by a smell (i.e. the kitchen trash that DH didn't take out) or even just the thought of something gross.  Just the other day, I almost threw up again. I had just gotten up and hadn't eaten just yet and thought about how sick I felt that it made me gag once.......the gag made me run to the toilet and I kept gagging but fortunately I had nothing in my stomach to expel.
Also, most of my food aversions have gone away.  I am finally able to eat a little bit of cooked greens again, although I'm not back at the point where I go "Hmmm, I think I'll have a can of spinach today!"  Still a bit grossed out by smelling seafood, but really I don't like seafood anyway.  I have managed to eat tilapia one time so far, but still definitely going to limit my fish intake.
(By the way, DH and I keep arguing over whether or not mayonnaise/sauces made with mayonnaise should be safe or not.  I can't find any really conclusive answers on the internet.  Anybody know???)

Isn't it too early in the pregnancy to be so uncomfortable?  I did buy one of those pregnancy body pillows and I like it.  But the annoying thing is I can't sleep on one side all night.  I am always waking up with a burning pain in my hip on whichever side I'm lying on, like a pressure sore.  So then I have to turn over and try to take the whole body pillow with me, or sit up to flip the pillow and then turn over.  Sometimes I just say forget the pillow, but then I am still uncomfy.  What the heck am I going to do in the 3rd tri??? I don't know.

The belly:
For the last couple weeks, DH has been kinda obsessed with feeling my uterus.  He says it feels like a balloon.  He also says that I'm starting to "show" a little bit, and my co-workers who know about it say the same thing.  I'm still not quite sure that what they're seeing is actually a "baby bump" and not just a little plump gut, lol.  I don't plan to make any kind of "announcement" at work; I'll just let the pregnancy announce itself.  If the different pants I'm wearing haven't given it away, I'm pretty sure that once I start showing up to work in sweater dresses and leggings, people will know something's up.  (That's actually how I figured out a co-worker was last year: "Hey.....she never wears dresses to work....")  I'm also curious to see how long it will take my students to figure it out, and who will be the first one to say something.

And in other news:
We are moving!  And at the same time, we are not moving.  I originally planned to try to find a place to move into in January, and had been keeping my eye on craigslist to get an idea of what we could find.  But I really like the area we are in and don't want to move far from it because it is such a convenient location.  Right down the street from us, there is UCLA housing for grad students/families.  It looked really nice because the buildings are newer, and plus it has a playground onsite.  But, I know that with campus housing comes very long waiting lists.  Plus when I looked at the pictures online, it actually seemed like the space was smaller than what we'd like.
So I'd been looking around on craigslist, but then I noticed that our building had the "2 bedrooms" sign out front.  After going to view one other apt in the area that ended up being too small, plus a difficult parking situation,  we decided to ask our landlord about taking a look at the 2br apt in our building.....And....we....love it!  It has 1 & 1/2 bathrooms, tons of closet/storage space (including an outside storage locker, which we didn't get with this unit), newer carpet and newer tile flooring (the floor in our current kitchen looks like something from the 70s, seriously), and even a balcony with a nice view.  Of course, the cost is a bit more, but DH & I talked about it and decided we can make this work, and it will definitely be worth it.  He signed the contract last week and the landlord went ahead and gave us the keys so we can start moving stuff at our own pace.  The best part is that we literally just have to move stuff across the other side of the courtyard.  No packing.  No stairs to go up and down.  This will be the easiest move EVER.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

How not to be pregnant on Facebook

Maybe I'm just crazy.  Here I am with a healthy pregnancy, almost into the 2nd trimester.  Couldn't be more excited.  And yet.... pregnancy announcements and updates on Facebook still bug the crap out of me.

Now don't get me wrong.  I really am happy for my pregnant FB friends.  It's just the "Hey FB world, check out my pee stick!" or the "We haven't even had our first doctor appointment yet but we're going to announce this pregnancy with a picture of the onesies we already went out and bought", followed by several obnoxious and/or "complaining" status updates.  That's what gets to me.

Of course, I will eventually need to come out on FB, but I am going to hold out at least until this becomes obvious to people IRL.  DH thinks we shouldn't need to announce on FB at all.  But the thing is, I know my family will be uploading a slew of pictures come Christmas time.  So I'd rather make a tasteful announcement sometime before all my FB friends get bombarded with pics that may include Ruth+more.

After witnessing much obnoxious FB behavior from others, I have come up with a list of things I vow never to do once I go public.  Seriously readers, if I break any of these you have my full permission to slap me straight:

I vow to demonstrate an awareness that the majority of my friends do not need to see objects that have recently come in contact with my bodily fluids. 
Hey everybody! Check out this TP I just wiped with.....wait, you mean that's not socially acceptable??

I vow never to disclose the explicit details of what just came out of my stomach.
......or rather, what's NOT coming out.  Status update: "I just wish I could poop.  Oh the joys of pregnancy..."

I vow never to complain of weight gain, or of all the things I'm not allowed to have.
Wishing for a drink? Seriously? Alcohol is the LAST thing I want to think about going in my mouth. Of course there are some things I miss....  Status update: "I just wish I could get freaky nasty with my hubby again, without being uncomfortable.  Oh the woes of carrying a child in my uterus...."

I solemnly swear never to use the word "prego" unless I'm discussing a recipe for chicken parmesan.
Ok ok I know, that's just my own damn problem and I need to get over my disdain for that word.  DH is trying to desensitize me by calling me "prego" and "preggy" and every other name in the book.

Even if this pregnancy consumes me, I promise not to let it consume those on my news feed.
Susy: "I just discovered that I like coffee."
           comment: "I love coffee! But I can't have any because I'm pregnant."
(This was an actual exchange I saw between 2 FB friends)

Sally:  "I'm so happy I aced my psychology exam today!"
            comment:  "Hooray! I aced my exam too...at the OB's office....because I'm pregnant!"

Places: Sammy was at The Grocery Mart on Grocery Avenue.
             comment:  "Hey while you're there, could you get me some pickles? I'm all out.  It's an emergency....because I'm pregnant!"

Selma: "I'm loving this beautiful weather today."
             comment:  "Me too.  Did I mention that I'm pregnant????"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Pomp and Circumstance

Today was graduation day from my RE's office.  Which is great because baby is perfectly healthy, but it was pretty emotional.  I was really choking back tears when they handed me a "graduation present" (a sonogram frame. awww!)  That's ok.  Someday we'll be back to give our other 3 little embies a chance.... someday.

On to the details:  Our little one was totally wiggling and kicking and flipping around today.  I am so in love with watching baby on the screen.  The RE made sure to show us lots of good angles of the baby.  At one point I thought I saw......something *extra* but nobody said anything.  After the RE & nurse left and I was getting dressed, DH goes "....did you see something in between the legs?" (BTW, he reeeeally wants a girl).  I said yes, but I thought it was too early to tell and maybe it was the umbilical cord.  But then when I was getting my blood drawn, the nurse said "Guess what? *I think it's a boyyyy*"  I guess we'll know for sure in a few weeks or so.

Now the next step is to do the NT scan.  My RE wants me to make sure I get it done by 13 weeks, so he gave me a couple perinatology recommendations.  (Just had a hilarious realization: I kept trying to figure out why one of the names sounded so familiar.  Now I know......won't say the name.  Just that this doctor shares the same name as someone who became famous for singing "Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground!"  LOL!!!  Oh well, good thing I already decided on the other doctor.  Otherwise I may not be able to keep a straight face haha!)

My RE also gave me a few recommendations for OBs at the hospital I want to deliver at.  I gave him the name of one I'd heard good reviews about (ok ok, so I yelped doctors.  Is that so bad?).  Let's call her Dr M, but he didn't recognize the name and said before I left, he wanted me to look up a list of OBs in that hospital group that would be covered under my insurance, so he would recommend a few.  Because, he said, he would rather I go with somebody that he knows.... Ok that's probably the one weird vibe I've gotten from this doctor.  And the funny thing: his "#1 recommendation" was someone I already really did not like judging from his online reviews (Let's call him Dr. B). This afternoon I was talking with a coworker who recently had a baby at that hospital and said she really loved her OB there.  She had to have 1 encounter with Dr. B and she really did not like how he talked to her.  Guess who was her regular OB: Dr. M!  However, Dr. M is on maternity leave now.  So I figure I can go with one of the other names my RE gave me, and if I don't like that OB, I could always switch to another one in the same group.  Besides, I know that when it comes to the actual delivery, it could be anybody doing it.  I've already started talking with DH about how I think it is really important that we hire a doula.  That's a topic for a whole other post.  :)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Still alive and well

I guess it's about time I write a little update.  Didn't mean to leave any of you readers hanging with the fifth disease scare.  I have been sooooooooooooooo busy with school.  Anyway, this is what's been going on in the life of Ruth:

Fifth Disease:
I went in for the bloodwork, which came back negative (I've never had it).  They want me to come back for some follow-up bloodwork in a couple weeks to make sure I haven't been exposed since the first test.  I haven't had any symptoms, and I rarely ever come in contact with the "little kids" at my school, so I think I should be ok.

My last u/s was on Oct. 1st (at almost 9 weeks).  It was awesome because our little one was actually starting to look human.  At previous u/s, my RE would point out the head forming, and it still just looked like a blob to me.  This time, I could recognize the head and body as soon as baby came on the screen.  Of course, my eyes are still very untrained.  When I asked "are those the little arms and legs?" the RE zoomed in to show me.  "See, here's an arm.  Look! Here's a knee."  A knee???!!! Seriously, how can he see this?  We also saw the baby move a little bit at one point. So exciting! My next u/s is this Thursday (it's been a long wait).  Tomorrow will be my last day taking estrogen & progesterone, then on Thursday they will test to see if my body is producing enough on its own.

Well, 3 weeks ago when I last posted, I was having the week from hell.  The antibiotic I was taking made me soooooo sick.  I threw up twice that week, missed another day of work (in addition to the Monday I was on "bed rest"), and even had to stay behind at school with a student rather than go with my class on a field trip to the beach because of how nauseous I was.  That whole week I felt like it was a chore to eat anything, like I had to try really hard to just swallow food without gagging.  
Since then, I haven't been as nauseous, but I've definitely developed some food aversions.  For instance, at the beginning of pregnancy I always wanted spinach.  Now the thought of any leafy green makes me sick.  Also boiled eggs; I don't even want to think about that texture going down my throat. Oh yes, and there are some definite smell aversions.  DH likes to keep cooking seafood for himself & his friend, which does not make my nose happy at all.  Last weekend I was so mad when he made the whole place smell like clams.  Gotta count my blessings though: at least he hasn't brought shutki into this house (look it up).  And last night he made me some chicken korma, after I begged him to please stop the experimenting and make something I know I like.

Sleep: It's getting pretty uncomfortable.  At least I am no longer going for hours at a time without being able to fall asleep.  But I do wake up several times feeling uncomfortable and having to switch over to sleep on my other side.  Before pregnancy, I was a tummy sleeper, but now have learned to sleep on my side.  I know they say the left side is best, especially later on, but right now I feel much better to sleep on my right side.  The last few days I've been feeling a sharp pain in my left hip, so I try not to put pressure on that side.  I read about sciatic nerve pain in early pregnancy, but I'm not sure if that's what it is.

Weight gain: I think I have gained a total of......1 pound....maybe.  Although it feels like so much more.  I feel so bloated all the time.  Fortunately, I had lost about 15-18 pounds after moving to LA, and kept a lot of my old pants, so those are coming in really handy.  However, I did invest in a pair of maternity pants for work.  I also bought one of those stretchy bands to wear over my regular pants, but I still feel too constricted when I wear it.  I'm just ready to actually start "showing" so I can have more proof that this is actually real. :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Now what?.....

After getting the all-clear from the RE yesterday, I thought I would be able to come back to work today drama-free.

Not so.

I had just gotten to my class and then 5 minutes later, our clinical supervisor walked in and says "Hi, I heard that you might be pregnant?"  (What? I have hardly told anyone at work but now it's going through the grapevine).  She went on, "I have a reason for asking: there's been a child here diagnosed with fifth disease, so you need to call your doctor to let them know there's been an exposure in the school."

Great.  Something new to scare me.  Though from what I've read, the chances of getting serious complications from an exposure are very low.  But still not any chance I want to take!  I called the RE's office, and the receptionist said she'd pass the message on and have one of the nurses call me back.  Well I waited all day for them to call, but in the meantime I just made sure to keep a good distance (as much as possible) from the kids and made sure to wash my hands plenty.  The nurse finally called again around 2:30 and said that they wanted me to come in tomorrow for a test to see if I've been exposed before.

I think my RE's office might be sick of seeing me after this week, lol!

Monday, September 26, 2011

All is well

I went in for my follow-up with the RE this morning.  Took a look at the area that the ER doctor was talking about, but my RE says he's not even sure if it's really a hematoma.  Bottom line, it's definitely nothing to worry about.  However, he did tell me to stop taking the baby aspirin, just in case.  And no GOFO allowed.  Don't really feel like that anyway since this UTI and the antibiotic I have to take for it make me feel blehhhh.

Next u/s is Saturday morning.  My uterus sure is getting a lot of attention lately lol!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Little Scare

Yesterday was quite an eventful day for us.  Fortunately, baby is still perfectly ok, but we did have a little bit of a scare (I will warn you it is TMI):

It started yesterday morning when I did my first suppository.  I noticed a little pinkish discharge on the applicator afterwards, but thought maybe I just pushed it in too far and irritated my cervix...or something like that.  I was using the bathroom a lot throughout the morning, but didn't see any more pink.

DH and I had planned to have a day at the mall window shopping for baby stuff (and maybe to buy some comfy work pants because I am quickly running out!).  We ate at the food court first and then I had to go to the bathroom again.  I had a lot of white discharge from the suppository, but there was also a little glob of dark bloody mucus.  Since there was no more blood when I wiped, I again thought maybe it was from my cervix being irritated by the suppository.  But it definitely killed my mood to walk around the mall so we went home.  

We both took a little nap at home, but when I woke up I noticed some strange cramping on my left side.  Even though I was not bleeding anymore, and I know cramping can be normal, we decided to go to the ER just to be sure and to put our minds at ease.

Of course, we all know how very quickly thinks move in the ER (ha!).  So long story short: after giving a urine sample, getting some blood drawn, and getting an u/s,  they determined I have a small subchorionic hemorrhage.  And also a UTI.  

As I said earlier, the good thing is that the baby is still measuring fine and the heartbeat is still good.  They said the hemorrhage does not seem to be affecting the baby at all, so the threat of miscarriage is very low.  However, I am on bedrest until I can get in to see my RE (hopefully tomorrow).  

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

....and growing!

The good news is... only 3 more days of PIO and then I get to switch to suppositories.  Hooray for booty relief!

Now, the GREAT news is....baby is still perfectly healthy and growing strong! Nearly doubled in size since last week (now 9mm).  And the heart rate is 144 bpm. I could spot it flickering away as soon as baby came on the screen!

The RE made sure to print out a few good u/s pics for me today.  This one is my favorite because even though I know the head is just beginning to form, it totally looks like baby is chowing down on yolk sac lol!


My next u/s is in 10 days, and the RE says we will be discussing invasive vs. non-invasive options for prenatal testing.  Oh boy will this be fun.  :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Baby, baby, can't you see my heartbeat?

(Ok, I meant to post this much earlier, but I was once again so exhausted I fell asleep very early)

Today's appointment (well, I guess yesterday afternoon's appointment) was just as perfect as we could have hoped for!  We had had a little bet going on how many babies we had.  DH thought 2, my [crazy] neighbor thought 3, and I thought 1.....

I won the bet.  I was kind of hoping that maybe it would be twins, but I just knew it was 1.  Everyone has been telling me "mother knows best."  I guess that's true.  :)

The absolute best part of yesterday, of course, was seeing that little flickering heartbeat!!! It was so magical!!!!!  And the heart rate was a very healthy 126 bpm! We are so thankful!!!!

Now the only *bad* thing about today, was that I asked the RE if I could PLEASE switch from injections to suppositories, but he wants me to continue the PIO for 10 more days and after next week's visit, he'll give me the ok to switch (maybe?).  Boooooooo.   I've been doing the PIO for 4 weeks now, I have HUGE lumps in my booty, and it's sooooooooooooooo sore.  But hey, I'll do whatever it takes to keep me & baby healthy.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Beta #2


My levels decided to more than TRIPLE in 48 hours!!!  DH thinks this means I have more than 1 baby in there.  I said not necessarily.  No more bloodwork for now.  Just waiting another 2 weeks until we get to have the 1st ultrasound.....and hoping I don't go crazy waiting in the meantime.

Update on symptoms:  Other than the bloated feeling, we have noticed since around Sunday that my BBs have definitely gotten bigger/fuller.  I already have a pretty good sized chest, but now my nipples are GINORMOUS! LOL

Also, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping for the past few days.  I will fall asleep around my usual time, 10 or 11 (usually while watching TV).  But then just sleep 2-3 hours before having to get up to pee.  Then after that, when I come back to bed, I just can NOT get comfortable and can NOT sleep for like 3 hours until I fall asleep for another 2 hours and then get up.  Yesterday evening, I was already feeling tired after my 7:30 PIO shot.  I was telling myself I can NOT go to sleep or else I'll be awake all night.  So I begged DH to take me somewhere just to keep me awake and alert.  We decided to just go for a little walk.

While we were walking, I was telling DH about how much trouble I am having getting to sleep at night. Then he asked me if I wanted a new mattress.  You see, the mattress we have now, we've had it for 4 years.... but it was used before then.  My mom got it at a garage sale somewhere and at the time it was great because anything was better than sharing a twin bed.  But it is really not very comfortable.  Now it just so happens that tomorrow (Thursday) is my birthday, and DH was stressing about what to do/get for my birthday.  (He's just not good at thinking of any gift that is not practical, and besides I don't even wear jewelry that often).  So we decided to walk down the street to the mattress store (gotta love living in the city) to take a look.  We ended up finding one that I really like that was on sale, and DH was willing to just go ahead and order it.

Isn't that ironic? Going for a walk just to stay awake, only to end up buying something to sleep on. LOL

Monday, August 29, 2011

And the beta is.....


They said they like to see it at least over 50 by this point, so I am pregnant.... fo shizzle! :)  I'm just a tad disappointed because I was hoping for some whopping high, possible twin-range 1st beta like I see so many blog friends have.  But hey, pregnant is pregnant so I'm definitely taking what I can get!!! Praying it doubles (or more than doubles) by Wednesday.  :D

After this morning's bloodwork, I just want to say how much I really freakin love my doctor and his office.  Actually, even before we started the IVF, even when I was just doing the SHG a few months ago, I was already impressed with his bedside manner compared to other doctors we've had.  (Then again, it could just be that I've only had really mean doctors.  My RE in OK seemed more interested in my charts and my ovaries than me as a person).  For my baseline u/s, my RE was out of town and I had to go to his partner doctor in Beverly Hills.  I felt like that office was too big and impersonal, the nurses seemed bitchy, and the doctor was just weird.
This morning I was waiting in the waiting room longer than usual (to be expected on a Monday morning, I suppose).  There was an older lady in there, as well as a couple.  I think the guy must have said something about the waiting time because the other lady told him that it's nothing to do with them, and that this doctor was very well worth the wait.  For the couple it was only their 2nd visit, but the lady had already gotten pregnant with his help a couple years before.  So we were all sitting there talking about how awesome this doctor is.  The lady said that with her last pregnancy, she had an OBGYN that was so mean that she fired him and was begging the RE to deliver her baby (which of course, he doesn't do) until she finally found a new one. LOL  Nice to know we went through a doctor with that good of a rep.
When I was called back to get my blood drawn (after peeing in a cup, of course), the nurse asked me if I had tested at home.  I told her yes, 3 times and they were positive.  I said "But I know that doesn't mean much if my beta is low."  She assured me that a lot of times they see low betas at first, but then everything turns out to be fine.  She was also doing a pee test while she took my blood, and sure enough we got a line.  She went to go tell the doctor, then the other nurse (who is the one usually taking my blood and accompanying the ultrasounds) came over and looked at the test with a huge grin on her face. The doctor came over and looked at the test, then gave me a hug and everybody was saying "Congratulations!"  It was such a nice feeling to have the whole office get as excited as I was; like one big happy family LOL  :)

I am SOOOOO glad I was recommended to this RE.  Which would not have been possible had I not been given a recommendation for an AWESOME urologist by Emmy.  Thanks Emmy!!!


I meant to do this post last night, but I was so exhausted I just fell asleep.  These last few days have been crazy emotional!

First, an update on my "symptoms": since Wednesday night I noticed that my BBs would feel pretty sore and sensitive whenever I'd take my bra off.  (But this wasn't happening much since most of the time I was at home wearing very loose-fitting clothing and no bra.)  The painful, nauseating cramps went away after Wednesday.  When I went in for my bloodwork on Thursday, I told the nurse about those and she said the progesterone is what does that.  However, I have continued to have this.....feeling below my stomach.  Hard to describe because it's not really a "cramping" feeling. It's like a dull pressure/heaviness/bloated feeling.  And it is constant, making it really uncomfortable for me to wear anything but stretchy exercise shorts or pants that are too big for me.  This is the one symptom that has been driving me crazy because it is so unusual and unlike AF symptoms.

So I planned to hold out until Sunday morning to test, thinking that since I only had one HPT in the house the desire to save money would tide me over.  Ha!  By Friday night, I was already getting anxious to test.  That night, I couldn't sleep too well.  I went to bed around 11:30, woke up around 2:30 to go to the bathroom, came back to bed, and had the weirdest dream.  I dreamed that I used the HPT and the test line instantly turned really dark (the way it did morning after my HCG trigger).  Then I wanted to surprise DH with the test by leaving it by the computer table, but when he finally came to look at it, it was completely blank as if it hadn't been used at all.

I woke up from that dream around 5:45 and had to go to the bathroom again (but not much).  Thought I would go back to sleep but I just could NOT sleep after that.  I kept thinking "Should I test or not test? Was this dream a sign to test or not test?  I surely won't even get a dark line this early, but I should get something right?"  Ok I eventually got out of bed about an hour later, having made up my mind that I would test.  But I made the stupid decision of trying to drink a lot of water to make myself go instead of holding it for longer.  So I used it, and thought I saw a line appear right after the control line, but it was sooo sooo faint I wasn't sure whether or not I was just imagining it.  It was like deja vu of the olden days, when I would try so hard to make myself see a line when it was obvious there was no way I was pregnant.

So then, I did what any woman in my shoes would do......consult Dr. Google.  Sure, THAT will calm my crazy head.  After agonizing over what a 9dp3dt BFP should look like, I decided that I would go out and buy more tests.  So I told DH I was going to get some shaving razors (hey it's true, I DID need razors).  But he figured me out anyway; after he got up he was like "Did you buy more tests?"  That man can read me like a book.

I told him that we needed to go somewhere today because I just HAD to get out of the house.  We decided to go to the beach, but not until his friend came over several hours later.  Just enough time for me to go even more crazy on the internet.  So then we did drive to the beach....except the whole road was jam packed and there was absolutely NO parking ANYWHERE, so we just drove back home.  That was a wasted hour.  So we sat outside by the pool and played a card game to pass the time.  Then the boys decided to jump in the pool.

While they were swimming, I decided it was time to go inside and test again.  (I had made sure to hold my pee for at least a good 4 hours).  I started to see a line very soon after the control line showed up.  Then I started screaming/squealing/laughing to myself because the line kept getting darker!  It was not "dark" but there was no way it was imaginary this time! Now I always thought that I would try to find some nifty way to "surprise" DH if I ever got a BFP, but I just couldn't keep it to myself! I ran out to tell him (or rather, I briskly waddled because of the heavy/bloated feeling).  Of course he was in disbelief (I think he still is).  I tested again yesterday morning: once again, BFP!  So I called my mom before church to tell her the news and ask her to keep praying that however many little babies have latched on, for them to hold on tight for the next 9 & 1/2 months!

Last night, I tested AGAIN (okay, POAS addict here) so that DH could see it in action.  I tried with a cheapie from the Dollar Tree first, and got nothing.  DH was like "What? What's going on?"  I'll admit I was freaking out just a little too, but figured that the cheapie must not detect as well as the others.  So DH told me to use the pricey FRER, and sure enough, we got a line!  I had him take a picture while we were still within the 10-minute time window (I couldn't get a good enough picture on my camera with the previous tests).

(Okay, you probably have to click to see it better)

And here it is again, next to the old tests:

I go in for the BETA this morning.  Even with 3 BFPs at home, I'm still soo nervous about this.  (High numbers please please please....)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Stupid side effects :(

Since my last post, we have resolved the issue with the PIO shots.....and by resolved, I mean that I've fired DH and my neighbor is continuing to do them.   Hey, she actually enjoys it, I guess it gives her something to do.  I still make DH draw it up for me though (I think he likes playing scientist with the syringe, just not stabbing me lol).

Today is 6dp3dt, and I'm beginning to fear that this didn't work.  Beta is not until Monday.  I have ONE hpt in my house, so I'm planning to hold off on testing until at least Saturday or Sunday.  However, it seems that I had more "symptoms" right after the transfer (when it was DEFINITELY too early for pg symptoms) and those have all seemed to wean off now.  I think I have yet to have any symptoms that are enough to convince me they could be implantation/early pg symptoms.

Here's what I have been feeling:

2-3dp3dt: Sore BBs (particularly the left):  WAY too early: obviously a progesterone side effect.  Now my BBs are not sore at all.

2dp3dt-present: Lower back pain:  Progesterone? Pressure sore from lying down a lot? Or just the fact that I have a really crappy back anyway?

4-5dp3dt: Waking up in the wee hours of the morning or right after a nap with EXTREMELY PAINFUL cramping throughout the whole midsection that lasts about 5 minutes (TMI ALERT: the last time it happened, the cramping was relieved by using the bathroom):   Implantation? (very doubtful) Or gas pain from the PIO?

4dp3dt-present: Mild, dull cramping and/or bloating feeling around the uterine area: Implantation? Or just the PIO & Estrace playing more mind games with me?

5dp3dt: Random cramping in right leg:  ....actually I have no clue what that's all about.  Estrace side effect, maybe?

5dp3dt: Irritability:  PMS? Or just from being on pelvic rest for so long I can't remember the last time we GOFO?  lol

Saturday, August 20, 2011

PIO: piece of....

Well, it finally happened:  Last night we had our first PIO freakout/meltdown.

As I mentioned before, my neighbor had been coming over at 7:30 every night to give me the PIO shot. Whichever side she was doing the shot on, I would lean the opposite leg onto the couch to shift my weight onto it, and then she would stick me faster than I knew what happened lol.

Anyway Thursday night, since I had been laying in bed pretty much all day, DH decided to go ahead and give me the shot so I could stay near the bed.  After cleaning my left side with the alcohol swab, I leaned into the same position, and DH gave the shot perfectly: just a little pinch, didn't hurt.  I was so proud of him.  So we assumed last night should be just as easy, but no.

First of all, I was watching TV and then DH turned the TV off.  I was like "Hey! I was watching it! That was my distraction!" So he turned it back on.  I got into position, and DH made the stupid mistake of saying "Are you ready?" Now why'd he have to do that? Now I was anticipating it.  And when he tried to stick me it actually HURT this time, and I moved a little as a reflex.  Great.  So DH changed the needle and we tried again.  Same thing happened, and then he got mad: "Why do you keep moving?? The needle was halfway in and when you move it comes out!"  I said he must have been doing it too slow if it was able to "come out" that quickly.

He went next door to ask my neighbor if she could do it.  She wasn't there, but her roommate said she should be nearby; she just went for a walk.  However, she had left her phone at the apt so there was no way of calling her.  So I just sat on the couch waiting and crying because I was too chicken to let DH try again.  I'm not sure if I was more worried about him hurting me or about screwing up and wasting needles.  

Finally at 8:25 (hey, they say to do the shot "within the same hour" so we're good) I was about ready to give in and let DH try again after he suggested maybe I should lay down flat.  So I went to the bed and then my neighbor walked in, so of course we let her do the shot instead.  Then, she took the used needle and made DH practice stabbing an orange.  She goes "Look, here's her butt.  Just *STAB* it in there real quick like that.  See?"  Well I tell you DH stabbed the heck out of that orange lol!  Then he looked at me and said "You're right. I think I WAS too slow with it."

So now I'm not sure what will happen tonight. I still don't know if I trust DH with a needle...lol! I'll take any tips from you ladies out there.

On a side note: since Thursday's transfer, a lot of people have been asking me "What are you gonna do if you have triplets???" Even though the chances are low, I know there's still that possibility.  Yikes. We wouldn't mind twins, but if we found out all 3 implanted I think I would mostly be worried about whether or not my body would be able to handle it.  But we are against selectively aborting, so if that did happen we would just take the best care of my body and pray for the best.  Whatever will be, will be. :)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm "unofficially pregnant!!!!!"

This morning's embryo transfer was full of lots of good news and surprises:

First of all, it turns out that our 2 late-maturing eggs did fertilize after all, so we have a total of 6 little embies! They are of course a little behind on the growing, so they are both at 4 cells right now.  Out of our initial 4 embies, 2 of them are right on target at 8 cells (my RE gave them an "A" and an "A+"!) and the other 2 are growing a little slower at 5 cells now.  My RE said that for our age group, 2 should be enough.  But he decided he wanted to go ahead and transfer one of the 5-cells as well, for "insurance" as he put it.  He thinks that our other 3 should be able to make it to freeze.  However, the embryologist said that one of the 4-cells may have some problem.  She said it's "too big" or "too uneven."  We'll see.

I'm just so excited that right now I am PUPO with 3 little embabies!!!! (To my readers unfamiliar with the lingo: no it has nothing to do with the life cycle of a caterpillar. ;) It means "pregnant until proven otherwise")

The lab gave us a couple pictures today.  I joked with DH that all the Fertile Facebookers who post a million ultrasound pics on their page, they never get to have THESE!  lol (Don't worry, I have absolutely no intention of putting these on FB)
Here are our 3 embryos pre-transfer:

And post-transfer:

So now I am on bedrest for 3 days to help these little ones snuggle up nice and tight.  I am trying my best to lay/sit as still as I can for long periods of time.  My legs get awfully fidgety though, so I'm trying to fight it lol!

DH is being very sweet helping out.  I had read that pineapple (or particularly pineapple core) is supposed to help with implantation, so he went out to the grocery store to buy me one.  Then he said he wanted to make a list of what we have to eat, so he wrote out a "menu" for me, sectioned by "proteins," "veggies," "fruit," "dairy," "carbs,"  and best of all "condom." You would think that's his way of abbreviating "condiments," except the list includes: peanut butter, cashew butter, soup, and pickles.... He says "condom" is his own category lol! 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

We've got embies!!!

The doctor's office called me a little before noon today:  Out of the 9 eggs they got, 4 of them are now fertilized!!! They said there were 2 more they did ICSI on, but trying to get them to mature so we could end up with 6.  I would be more than thrilled if they did, but I know the chances are slim.  I'm just so ecstatic that we actually have 4 of our OWN little embryos out there waiting for us.  GROW, EMBIES, GROW!

On a side note, I have to say that DH and I are both really surprised about our recovery from yesterday.  I had always thought that DH would come out of this procedure grasping his junk and whimpering with pain.  Instead, I was the one all crampy and sore, waddling around and needing help getting into the car.  At home, DH only sat on ice for about 20-30 minutes.  But only because I requested him to for good measure, not because he felt he needed it.  He has really not been in much pain at all.  Meanwhile,all day yesterday it hurt me to stand up, sit down, lay down, etc.  I almost freaked out thinking I might be getting OHSS last night when I saw I had gained 5 pounds, but I was not having any other severe OHSS symptoms.  So I've just been drinking plenty of water and when I got up this morning, my weight was back to normal.

Also, I had my first PIO shot last night.  And once again, my neighbor did it for me.  She actually came to my door in the afternoon and asked me what time to do the shot, and I hadn't even asked her to lol!  But she seems so eager to stick me, and is so gentle with it that maybe I'll make it a regular thing haha.  DH did help by drawing up the PIO and then massaging the area for me afterwards, so it's not like he's completely out of the process. ;)  Here's hoping tonight's shot goes just as smoothly.

Monday, August 15, 2011

MESA and Egg retrieval story

Just got back home from the egg retrieval and MESA! (That is, after stopping for breakfast afterwards- we were starving!!) Everything went very smoothly; piece of cake!  Here is the long story:

This morning I woke up around 5:30, feeling very nervous.  I couldn't tell if it was butterflies in my stomach or just my ovaries feeling gigantic and torturing me.  I woke DH up around 6:20 and we started getting ready.  I got a small bag of stuff together(socks, jockstrap, pads, a couple oranges), which we ended up not even needing because the facility provided stuff for us.  Our friend (today's chauffeur) ate a little bit (making me jealous lol!) and then we hit the road.

We got to the facility at 7:15, and DH was the first to sign paperwork, then they brought him back.  I saw his doctor walk through the door at about 7:35, and DH said they started around 7:45.  First, they gave him a couple shots in the sac to numb him.  He says it didn't hurt too bad and after that he didn't feel anything and they went to work getting those swimmers out.  DH says first the doctor collected a sample and then left the room to examine it (he said it was weird that he was left with his balls just hanging open for a few minutes lol). Doctor said he had plenty of sperm, but he wanted to get some more for freezing, so he took a little more, and then stitched him up.  I was so surprised when DH came walking into the waiting room at around 8:25 all smiles, didn't seem in pain at all.  (I think the pain meds still haven't worn off quite yet; we'll see how we're doing in a few hours).

All while DH was in the operating room, I was waiting outside feeling almost nauseous with nervousness.  Don't know why because at least I got to be asleep and DH had to be awake.  Anyway, my anesthesiologist came out around 8:15, then my RE arrived at the office about 5 minutes later.  At 8:30 they took me back to get changed and then I went to the operating room.  The anesthesiologist gave me a numbing shot before doing the IV, which didn't hurt a bit.  As he was putting the IV in, my RE got me into position on his end and assured me that I wouldn't feel or remember a thing.  The anesthesiologist told me he was giving something to relax me, and the RE said "You'll close your eyes and doze off in just a couple minutes."  I looked at the clock and saw it was 8:45.  Then I looked at the ceiling and started feeling sleepy, but I was so determined not to close my eyes while I was still conscious lol.  The last thing I remember was the nurse putting the blood pressure monitor on my arm, then I woke up and it was 9:15. (Staples button: that was easy!)  I was feeling pretty groggy and definitely crampy, but nothing too bad.  The nurse gave me some juice and Tylenol and after 15 minutes I was ready to get up.  Had to get dressed veeeeeeery slllloooooowly because of the cramps but it was still manageable.

So they managed to get 9 eggs from me.  I won't hear a maturity/fertilization report until tomorrow.  I'm just praying that this is enough.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Last night's trigger shot went surprisingly well.  However, DH was not the one giving it.  Now don't worry, he didn't chicken out.  I just did.  I was so concerned about getting this shot JUST RIGHT, and I somewhat jokingly asked "should we find out if there's a licensed nurse in our building who can do it?"  And DH replied, "....IS there a nurse here?"  So I decided to find out.  I went next door to ask my neighbor who pretty much knows everything about everybody.  No nurses here, but it turns out she has gone through EMT training and she mentioned that she had a friend she helped by giving "those pregnancy shots."  How convenient! :)
So I had her come over, DH helped to mix and draw up the HCG, then at precisely 8:30 I leaned over the couch and let my neighbor stick me.  Didn't feel a thing; that was easy! Of course, just a few minutes later I could definitely feel something (and my bum is still sore)!
This morning I went ahead and decided to test the trigger with an HPT, and sure enough it turned positive instantly.  So at least I know we got it right! But it was very weird for me to see that, wondering if I'll ever see another positive.

I'm trying to keep calm for tomorrow morning and pray that everything goes smoothly.  I think it's the anesthesia that's got me worried the most.  I'm just ready for it to be over and to have peace with whatever happens.
There's a song that my mom used to sing at church a long time ago, and lately it's been stuck in my head quite a bit.  Particularly the line:
I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future
I think it's very appropriate to our situation, and I pray that others like us may find the same comfort

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Pulling the trigger

This morning was my last office visit & u/s before the egg retrieval...which is Monday! AUGH!!!

So today we saw about 11-12 follicles.  But of those, only 5 are really the lead follies (ranging from 16-18mm).  Dr said he didn't want to continue stims because he is most concerned about those leads, and doesn't want them to become post-mature by the retrieval.  As for the other eggs, he says they *may* be able to mature them in the lab after retrieval.  We shall see.

Tonight is the HCG trigger! This is my first intramuscular injection, so DH is stepping up his game and doing it for me.  This time he will be sticking a 1&1/2 inch long needle in my ass instead of doodling on it.  What joy!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Movin' right along

Here I am, after 8 days of stims and boy let me tell you: the emotions are going wild! Especially yesterday morning, just about every little thing was making me cry.  Even just looking at my bookshelf and the waterworks would just start from looking at the TITLES of some books. *sigh* I'm such a crybaby.
And, I probably shouldn't have been quick to say I'd be a "pro" at these injections.  The Menopur mixing had been a little tricky for me at first, but certainly even more after trying to mix TWO vials.  The other night, I just had the hardest time trying to draw up the saline without getting huge air bubbles in it.  And after that, trying not to let the plunger move because it apparently has a mind of its own when there's too much air in the vials.  After I'd done the very best I could, I was left with what was definitely not one FULL cc of solution, and I nearly broke down crying thinking that I just couldn't get it right and it would screw everything up.  Last night I made DH mix it for me.  He decided to forego the Q-cap and just use the long needle to draw up the meds instead.  He actually seemed to be handling that syringe a lot better than I did.  Still ended up with a *little* less than 1 full cc, but I suppose it was the best we could get.

Well yesterday afternoon I had my u/s and right away he saw that my lining was looking great at 7.7mm, so I guess the Menopur was working after all. (Oh, to answer a previous comment: yes, I have been taking the baby aspirin so I guess that is helping too).  Then we checked what my ovaries are doing, and I think he only counted about 9 follicles.  Mostly ranging from 11-14.5mm, but there were a couple small ones too.  He said there were 6 "lead" follicles that he should definitely be able to use.  According to him, everything was looking good and so there was no need to up any meds.  However, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  I guess I was hoping we could see more follies than that...I guess to have more of a "buffer" for error.  But hey, if we get *just enough* to have a healthy baby, that's good enough for me.  I have my next u/s tomorrow morning, so we will see how the follies are doing.  My ovaries have been KILLING me these last couple of days (seriously, today I can barely walk without feelin' the pain) so I hope that means we'll see some really GOOD ones.  I should be triggering tomorrow night, and then Monday is the egg retrieval/MESA.  This past week, the fear finally got to me and I started feeling really nervous and queasy looking at the chart at the Dr's office that explains the retrieval.  Yikes!

Funny story: At the appointment yesterday, the Dr. told DH "[Your doctor] should be calling you within the next couple of days to let you know what you need before the MESA. Now, he'll be doing it without the anesthesia; I believe he does that with most of his patients. But if you want the anesthesia, just let them know beforehand."  DH just quietly nodded and said "Ok."  But as soon as the doc and nurse left the room, he starts hyperventilating and goes:
"No anethesia?? I'm not doing it! I'm not doing it!"
"Well ok then, ask for the anesthesia if you're scared."
This conversation went on for some time after the appointment:
"I'm not doing it without anestheeeeeeesiaaaaaaaaa" (in his acting voice).
"He said most guys do it without anesthesia so it must not be that bad."
"NO! NO! I'm not doing it! I'm not cutting my balls, I'm not doing it!"
Then again, in the car:
"I mean, WHY would anybody do it without anesthesia? Do you know how much it hurts just to get hit with a ball there?"
Suddenly, I realized there was a communication barrier. ".....honey," I said, "When he said no anesthesia he just meant you won't be asleep, but of course they're going to use a LOCAL anesthetic."
"OH REALLY?!!!" DH lets out a huge sigh of relief.  "Well, I might be ok with a local anesthetic....yeah I think I'll be ok."
Poor DH.  Just goes to show we gotta be careful in how we communicate when we're caught up in all the medical lingo.

And another funny thing that happened this morning:  You see, DH has this funny habit of doodling on things when he is on the phone.  But instead of little squiggles or pictures, he just writes a word that pops up in conversation, and writes that word over and over and over and over again.  Kinda cute actually, but access to any writing utensil while he is on the phone can be dangerous.  I think he's only ever destroyed a couple important (but not irreplaceable) papers of mine.  But most of the time, there is no paper, so instead he doodles on the computer table. Or best of all, he is relaxing in the computer chair with his feet propped up on the wall and doodles on his thighs instead.  That's right, on his LEGS.  Even yesterday while we were waiting at the pharmacy, he got out his pen and started doodling on his leg.
So this morning, I woke up and was just lounging around in my underwear.  Then I went to the bathroom and as I was washing up, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a bruise on my backside. I was thinking "Oh crap! What is going on? Am I having a bad reaction to the meds? Let me see what is th....."  Turns out it was not a bruise.  Instead, there were several illegible words written on me.  So I went back to the bedroom to show DH.
"Um, honey? Did you DOODLE on my ass while I was sleeping?"
"What? No"
"Then what is THIS?"
"What is that?"
"Oh....I think I put my leg on you, that's why."
That's my goofy hubby for ya.

Monday, August 8, 2011

"Let's see what we've got cookin' here....."

....said the Doc as he stuck the good ol' ultrasound doodad up my hoo-hah.....

So I guess all is looking relatively well.  I have 7 follicles "cookin," ranging from 6-10.5 mm. Mostly in the 8-9ish range.  However, he says my lining is still a little on the low side: only about 4.4 mm.  The nurse poked my arm once again to test my estrogen levels, so they said they will call me later on today to let me know whether I need to go up to 2 amps Menopur, or still stay at one.

The injections have been treating me pretty good.  I have been icing my tummy before and after the Menopur and it definitely helps.  I think I'm slowly becoming a "pro" at these shots, although the other night it was possibly a little over-confidence that led to a little mishap.  The first 2 nights the Follistim was treating me well, and I only got a small bruise from the 1st night of the Menopur.  However, night 3, after I did the Follistim, I was on my way to grab the ice pack from the freezer before the last shot, and noticed I was feeling a little more stinging than I expected from the Follistim.  So I lifted my shirt and saw I was bleeding like crazy! (Ok well, maybe not THAT bad, but it was quite unusual).  So I had to clean that up, yet it managed to leave the biggest, nastiest bruise of all thus far.  My best guess as to what happened is I probably took the needle out too quickly and/or at the wrong angle and ended up ripping a bit more flesh (if that's possible?) Yuck.  That's not happening again.

As far as the symptoms, SO FAR I have only felt a *little* cramping.  The few times that I've felt slightly nauseous, I usually attributed it to other reasons at the moment (i.e. "Oh I just didn't eat breakfast yet" or "Oh I just gotta use the toilet").  Hmm, maybe I'll be okay during the 2ww?.....Nah, I'm pretty sure come the 2ww (our first ever LEGITIMATE 2ww at that) I will be going absolutely nuts analyzing every symptom.

Next appointment is on Thursday, and we may possibly see even more follicles then. Yay!

Update: Turns out, my estrogen is low, so tonight I did the 1 amp Menopur, but as of tomorrow I'm bumpin' it up to 2 

Thursday, August 4, 2011


What a fun Thursday:

This morning I wake up relatively early, on my own.  I decide to just be lazy for a good while, and *maybe* do a little cleaning before my 12:15 eye appointment.  So 9:30, I'm just chillin' at the computer when I get a call from the RE's office.  My appointment is not until tomorrow, but the Dr has decided he wants me to come in and start stims TODAY!  

So I take a quick shower and ask DH if he wants to tag along.  He agrees and slllllllloooooooooowly gets out of bed.  We look over the consent forms once more (and have a nice little spat about the whole what-to-do-with-potential-frozen-embryos-in-the-case-of-our-death thing) and head to the office.  Dr comes in and profusely apologizes for wearing jeans since he didn't originally intend to see patients today.  Does the ultrasound, everything looks good.  Get poked in the arm again, fun times.

Then I go to my eye appt and *supposedly* my last eye doctor had me over-corrected in my right eye.  I apparently should be wearing -6.5 instead of the -7 I have been wearing (yes, I'm about as blind as a bat!)

After that appt, we go to UCLA for DH to run a quick errand, then he drops me off at the pharmacy.  I pay a whopping $860 for 4 days worth of Menopur and Follistim.  Then I come right back out and DH is not waiting for me outside, so I try to call him.  But whaddya know, I'm stuck in the middle of Westwood and can't get any service on my phone.  So I borrow a phone from someone, and of course DH's phone won't ring either.  So I'm just left waiting outside, slightly annoyed.  Annoyance turns into slightly freaking out about where the hell he could be and why the hell he is taking so long.  45 minutes later he comes around the block, and says he was stuck at one light for the last 30 minutes (although I suspect he probably drove a lot further away then he needed to!) I come home, relax a little more, then have my little injection party around 7:30.

Gotta say, I think the Follistim pen is pretty nifty, although clumsy ol' me ended up stabbing myself afterwards while trying to unscrew the needle. I had a little trouble mixing the Menopur; probably should have used the Q-cap to draw up the meds instead of that long needle it came with.  And I had heard that one stings quite a bit so I sure am glad I saved it for last!!

So even though this was one hectic busy day, I'm glad the appointment is out of the way.  Now I can use that free time tomorrow to.......CLEAN!  My sister & BIL are coming to visit from San Jose.  Hooray Hooray! I get to be someone's "tour guide" in LA! :)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Subcutaneous gold

5 days of Lupron injections and so far giving myself the shots have been a piece of cake.  I haven't had a whole lot of side effects: I definitely had hot flashes the 2nd day but that was the only time.  I usually feel slightly dizzy or lightheaded afterwards, and also feel a little funny in my stomach, but I can't tell if that's actually from the Lupron or just leftover indigestion issues from the trip.  The first few days I only got a little redness and a small bump at the injection site, which went away within an hour.  So I was all happy thinking I would get another 2 weeks with an inconspicuous tummy, but then last night I bled a bit when I took the needle out and it left a bruise.  Pretty sure my abdomen will look like a battlefield before this is all over.

And once again, I am irked with my insurance.  At the appointment on Friday, DH and I were both asked to do an infectious diseases/STD screening that they need by the 10th.  The nurse recommended we go through our primary doctor since most insurances won't cover it if we go through their office.  DH had no problem with his student insurance and just went to the clinic on his campus. (We'll see if we get any nasty bills though...)  However, I call my assigned PCP (whom I have yet to even see), and they don't even have a single appointment available until the middle of August.  Scratch that.  Then I tried to find other doctors who are supposedly within my network and none of them will take my insurance.  This whole thing has got me thinking what is the point of insurance anyway? Ugh.  I'm thinking I just might as well go through the RE's office anyway.

Other than the irritation, DH and I are just trying to enjoy our summer at home.  Yesterday we went to the Harry Potter movie (cheeeeeeeeeeeesy!) and then went to our local farmer's market for the 1st time (never got a chance during the school year).  I think today I'll do some laundry to earn myself a chance to be lazy and lay out by the pool. :)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

And the ride begins....

We just got back from Bangladesh yesterday morning (which will be a post for another day) aaaaaaaand we are ready to go:

Tomorrow morning I am going in for the baseline u/s and starting the Lupron.  I am excited and at the same time freaking out a little about the thought of giving myself injections.  Hopefully it's a lot easier than it sounds. And if I completely chicken out, I can always make DH do it (if he doesn't chicken out too). Teehee.

The egg retrieval & MESA will be Aug. 15th or 16th.  So I'm glad the timing worked out so that our urologist will be in town.  However, looking at when my potential betas would be, will most likely be the week I have to report back to work, so that might be a little tough depending how everything turns out.  I just keep trying to remind myself to leave it in God's hands.

Sidenote: It's hard to believe that it's already been about a year since we moved.  I never even updated my expectations, but I guess the "culture shock" from OK to Cali is nothing after going to Bangladesh. :)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hooray for Healthy Uterus!

I went in for the sonohysterogram on Thursday.  Everything looks great and ready to move forward!

Gotta say, the procedure was a *bit* painful/uncomfortable.  As soon as he put the catheter in I instantly got really crampy and sweaty and feeling very impatient, wanting to get up and move around already.  I was thinking to myself "Oh crap, what am I getting myself into if I can't even stand just this one little thing?"  

So the plan for now is:  we are going to Bangladesh for a month, and I will continue the BC there.  Dr. wants me to call as soon as we get back, and then start on Lupron, and then start stims.  He was a little concerned that our urologist may be out of town at the very end of August, so we're hoping the timeline will work out perfectly.  

I'm starting to actually get excited about this, like holy moly this is really gonna happen!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Change of plans

So it turns out, we will not start cycling at the end of June....

Remember back in August when I was contemplating whether or not we should put off IVF and visit DH's parents?  Well recently, DH had been bringing the idea up again, or rather, trying to see if there was any way that we can do both this summer.  Particularly because both of his parents are not in great health right now, and as he hasn't seen them in over 3 years (and I have yet to meet them in person).
Last week, we found out DH's dad has a prostate tumor, and will be getting a biopsy this week.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it, we are going to fly out there to be with them through the operation and to help them out.  We'll be leaving pretty much as soon as school gets out in a few weeks, and will be there about a month.  So this past week has been full of hectic planning and trying to get our emergency passports and visas.
I'm excited that this will be my very first time out of the country, and that I finally will get to meet DH's family.  But the circumstances just suck.  I wish this didn't have to be the reason we were going.

DH is determined that we will be able to still do IVF after we come back.  I'm hoping we can....we had all the money saved for the procedure, and have somebody who was going to be helping us out with the cost of meds and having something for back-up.  But this trip is taking a good chunk out of our savings of course.
On the one hand, I can't bear to think of waiting any longer.  But on the other hand, I'm still trying to be as realistic as I can about this.

In the meantime, IVF-wise, we'll still procede as if it will happen.  I called the RE to see if we can do the SHG before we leave.  I should be getting AF this week, so he says to start my last pack of BC on the 3rd day, then call to schedule the SHG 2 weeks later.  And when I come in, let him know how long I'll be gone.  He says "I can go ahead and start you on Lupron, and I can manipulate your cycle any way I need to."
Boy that sounds scary...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Documentary trailer and more updates

The other day I happened to stumble across this video on youtube:

This looks like it will be a really awesome infertility awareness documentary! Another cool thing is that one of our doctors is one of the experts in this film.  It's great to know we're in an area where we have these doctors who are real leaders in this field!

In other news: My 100-panel CF screening was negative. Hooray! Plus the glucose test was normal so I don't have to think about taking Metformin.  Yippee! The Dr. did however recommend I repeat glucose tests every 2 years to monitor my health.  Makes sense to be on the safe side, as my dad developed type 2 diabetes and I have a sister with hypoglycemia.  So I get to look forward to more good times downing a bottle of what tastes like orange gatorade with a buttload of sugar in it.  It's cool, I've done worse....

So it looks like we should be able to cycle the very end of June/beginning of July.  Dr. wants me to do a sonohysterogram about a month before.  (Dear insurance, please cover it).  And there's the financial stress on top of our prior plans for the summer.....but that is a post for another time.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Step 2

I guess I had better quit putting this post off and give the blog world an update before too much time goes by ;)

Anyway, our visit with the urologist last month went great.  Only thing is we found out DH also has "incomplete" epididymis on both sides, which is I guess pretty common with CBAVD so not a big deal.  Also, he was not satisfied with our previous genetic screenings, as DH was only screened for 36 panels of CF, so he wanted ME to do at least a 90 panel one. (We were told "there's no way to test for all strands,"  but apparently there's tests for a hell of a lot more than 36 panels so go figure)

The urologist referred us to an RE that he works with a lot, and who would do the egg retrieval in the same OR, but we have to drive out to the valley for all office visits. (Just about a 30-minute drive though, so not too bad).  We had our initial visit with the RE this past Thursday to review our conditions and discuss a plan.  Strangely enough, whereas my previous RE did not think that I met the criteria for PCOS, this guy highly suspects that I do based on my history of irregular/ no ovulation and a slightly high testosterone level.  Once again, go figure.  Of course, PCOS is much less significant when your partner has CBAVD, but his concern is that it puts me at a higher risk for ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome during the IVF process.  (Yikes!) So he wants me to come in next week for a glucose tolerance test to consider putting me on Metformin.  Ai-yi-yi. 

And he also wrote a prescription for me to go ahead and start on BC so that we'll be ready by June or July.  At first he wanted to give me Yaz, but I was really hesitant since I've heard a lot of bad things about it, so he gave me one called Deseon instead.  I gotta say, I find it pretty ironic that I am back on the pill "because I'm trying to get pregnant."  But it's nice to feel like we're moving forward.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Finally starting somewhere....

Guess who's a bad blogger: Me! Blame it on my job.  It has been soo stressful from the very beginning: I have never had so many demands and been under so much pressure in my life, and it never seems to end.  I'm just now finally starting to get a grip on what I should be doing (I hope) and trying to be more organized.

But anyway, DH and I are FINALLY taking our next step towards IVF.  This Wednesday we have a consultation with a (very highly recommended!) urologist/male reproductive specialist! I'm excited to finally be doing something, but honestly I feel like we have no idea what we're doing.  This is just the only place we know where to start since we know DH will need to do the MESA and this Dr. looks like the best one for the job.  Still trying to find a [good] RE to see that will collaborate with the urologist, don't know if he will be able to help refer us or if I have to start from scratch on that one.  I'm trying to come up with a list of questions we should have for him when we go, so any input from you readers would be helpful! :)