But....it was inevitable....my mom had to go and piss me off. After the birthday party we all went back to my bro & SIL's house and were just trying to relax. And my mom just flat out says, "So Ruth, this is your 3rd year teaching. After this year, are you going to get pregnant?" >:( No matter how many times you try to "rehearse" a response in your head, the emotions take over. I was so pissed and just snapped,
"That's a personal question mom, you don't ask this kinda stuff!"
"But I'm your mother" (!)
"That doesn't matter, it's a personal question!" And I made my escape to the bathroom. And she's saying something like "Well, I wasn't the one who said...." I don't know what she was trying to say that I've said. Thank God for my brother for interjecting and telling her to just stop and leave it alone. Maybe I shouldn't have been so....mean about it. But I just knew it was coming. Every time I see my mom she has to randomly bring up baby or pregnancy stuff and I have to try to politely get her to change the subject. And I am not ready to tell her about IF/azoo, not until at least we know what's gonna happen. Because for one thing, I know she will tell everybody about it when I don't want the whole world to know. And then she will be constantly trying to give us her (usually very unhelpful and rude) advice.
(WARNING: EXTREMELY bitchy rant coming up next)
I know everyone who has gone through/is going through IF has the pain in the butt of dealing with people asking stupid questions. I don't know what it is making me feel so agitated today. If you are reading this and you have ever been one of those people that asks somebody "When are you gonna start having kids?" or especially a random "Are you pregnant?" Maybe you think you're just having an innocent conversation, but please: DON'T ASK! Regardless of who it is you're talking to, because:
- It's none of your business!! If they want to tell you about their personal life, they will tell you
- Have you ever stopped to think just how stupid such a question is in the first place? "When are you gonna *start* having kids?" Or in my mom's case "Are you gonna get pregnant after this year?" Like anybody, IF sufferer or not, can tell you when they're going to conceive like the weather forecast? As much as people would like to think it's as easy as just having unprotected sex, we DON'T have control over what happens. So ask a stupid question, expect a stupid answer. And,
- If the first 2 reasons weren't good enough, you may not know the circumstances surrounding the person you're talking to. Maybe they haven't really thought about having kids and think nothing of such a question. But maybe they really want to have kids but know it's not their time to "try" yet. Or maybe they are trying and it hasn't happened yet. Or maybe they just found out they have serious IF issues and need treatment. Maybe they had or keep having miscarriages. When you ask them that question, to them it's like you're implying that they must not want children and need to *start having kids* when it's the exact opposite case. Or if it's a friend you know that is dealing with IF, please don't be that person that keeps asking "So are you pregnant yet?" It only makes the pain worse.