Saturday, December 26, 2009

To Tell and How to Tell...Those Are the Questions...

Due to the blizzard, we had to delay our Christmas plans.  My parents and little sister came up and spent the night last night.  Right now we're just waiting for everyone else to come this afternoon so we can celebrate [late] Christmas, so while waiting I decided to write a little while it's still fresh on my mind:

A couple weeks ago, DH said he wanted to tell his parents about his azoo pretty soon, probably even before he goes to see the urologist.  I told him that I thought maybe we should also tell my parents pretty soon, but he should probably tell his parents first, and do it whenever he's ready.  Well the other day we talked about it some more.  He is worried especially about telling his mom.  After all, his parents are halfway across the globe and this would be really hard to talk to them about over the phone.  He said he thinks his dad would be understanding, but that his mom would be really upset.  He thinks she will be mostly upset because of "societal standards,"  like you're SUPPOSED to have kids when you get married.  We talked about telling my parents and we're both worried about the same thing: My parents tend to be very irrational and judgmental, and might say things like "Well God must be punishing you for....blah blah blah...."  And will probably go on and on every time we see them with unwanted "advice."

Now, remember last month when my mom was being nosy?  Well this morning she just brought it to the next level: the guilt trip.  We were just sitting at the table eating breakfast and somehow she brings the conversation to how she got pregnant with me.  Me, my little sister, AND my dad were all trying to get her to stop talking.  But she just keeps going on and on: "It's all because so & so got pregnant and so & so got pregnant so then blah blah blah...."  We again tell her to stop talking.  Brief pause.  Then she says, in a mocking tone of voice: "I shall forever have only one grandchild."

I don't know how much more of this I can take.  And she always only does stuff like this when DH is not around (he's at work this morning).  Sometimes I wish she'd just say something when he IS there and maybe he'll just jump in and tell her how it is.  Not so easy, I know.  So the thing is,  I think we definitely need to tell my parents about it sometime soon so that MAYBE my mom can stop with the guilt trip stuff.  I'm gonna talk to DH tonight and see what he thinks, which he probably still doesn't want to tell them for a long time.

My question is, whenever we decide to tell, what would be the best way to tell them?  I know telling them face-to-face would probably be the proper way to do it.  But I'm also wondering about writing a letter, and maybe that will give them some time to process it before talking to us so they won't be blurting out some judgmental remarks.  Or should we just suck it up and tell them in person?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Baby It's Cold Outside

It's rare to get a "White Christmas" in Oklahoma.  It's Christmas Eve and we're having a BLIZZARD.  Enough to drive an Okie crazy  ;)  

Have a safe and Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Movin' on up

*whew* Hello Christmas break!   This has been a quite eventful week.  First of all, DH graduated last night!  He has worked soooo hard and I am so proud of him!!! Can't wait to see what the future holds for him.

Also, a turn of events at work: our principal resigned and so one of the asst. principals will be acting as interim principal for the rest of the school year.  It's gonna be interesting to see what's gonna happen but I think there will be some positive changes.  At least I hope so....

But right now, we are just going to RELAX and enjoy our holiday break.  :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Belated Thanksgiving update & more

Wow I am way overdue for a post.  There has been a lot going on in the land of Ruth  :)

The Thanksgiving break went by sooo fast but it was really nice.  My sister & BIL flew in from San Jose.  We had traditional Thanksgiving dinner at my other sister's house.  Then on Friday, since it was Korbanir Eid, we had the whole family get together at our place and DH got to show off with his delicious Bangledeshi-style cooking.  He made chicken korma,  goat curry, Bengali-style salad.  My sister made some dal (lentils).  Yum yum yum!  And a couple of good friends of ours were driving through from San Diego and got to stop by just in time to feast with the family.  :)  For the most part, the Thanksgiving break went well except for a little family drama.  I think some people felt hurt by other peoples' attitudes, and some people are still as selfish as ever and I certainly don't want to encourage that.  At least nothing got too heated.

Since then I've been keeping busy with work and then of course, car drama.  On Tuesday before Thanksgiving,  I was leaving my nail salon and some 17-yr old backed a pick-up into the back of my Scion.  Ugh.  It was still driveable but left a huge ugly dent.  I took it to the body shop and then they got the parts in on the following Tuesday so we dropped it off.  And wouldn't it be my luck, that when we only have one car available, that's when it decides to act all funny.  Something about the cold weather and we must have a messed up sensor in our old, crappy Mercedes (yes, there IS such a thing-it's our car!)  Wednesday it was fine, but both Thursday & Friday when DH had to take me to work, the car REFUSED to start....until the sun came up.  Weird.  And then it kept dying on the road.  DH had to repeatedly park the car in the middle of the street and then re-start it.  Then it would work fine for him the rest of the day.....until Friday when he came to pick me up.  Then it decided to all of a sudden die in the parking lot and refuse to start....again.  I had to have a friend drive me to the body shop to pick up my Scion and by the time I made it back, DH had finally gotten the car to start and he dropped it off at a shop near our place.  So we are still at one car now but at least we don't have to worry about it working. I really don't know what to do about the other car.  It is so old and so not worth the money it needs to fix it properly.  DH wants to sell it but I know we'd hardly get anything for it and I soooo do not want the hassle of shopping for another car right now.

IF-wise, all the busy stuff has really helped me to take my mind off of things.  But we still have a little over a month before seeing the urologist and some days I feel I just can't stand to wait any longer!  We managed to get through the family time without any nagging questions.  Except for when my sister from Cali was talking about how she hates it when people ask when she's going to have kids...and she can't stand it because she doesn't want kids.  At least not now, but from the way she talks it sounds like maybe she doesn't want them at all.  So yeah that was pretty tough sitting through her and my annoying sister complain about the same questions I complained about.....but for pretty much the opposite reasons.

Then yesterday my mom was up here and she tried to bring it up again, this time asking me why I got mad when she asked about it "in front of my brother."  As if THAT is what made me upset?  I told her I don't want to talk about it.  So she let it go...but it was like "Ok, so what else am I not supposed to ask about?"  *Ugh* My mom can be so air-headed sometimes.  Sometimes I wish I could just tell her so maybe she would stop nagging me, but then I know she probably would start a whole other type of nagging and then tell everyone about it.  I certainly was not going to tell her without DH there since this is especially personal for him.  I'm not sure when we're going to tell our parents.  The other day I told DH that if it turns out that the doctor will do a biopsy or some other "procedure," we should at least tell our parents before that.  But he's still unsure.  Let's hope we make it through the Christmas season without any more drama.