This past week has been really kicking my butt.
We have hit the growth spurt/cluster feeeding/nothing-makes-me-happy-and-calm-except-boobies stage. Seriously. Anu will go anywhere from 3-5 hours of what almost seems like non-stop feeding and gets all fidgety and panicky and somewhat fussy in between nursing sessions. He doesn't like pacifiers, or bottles (I've tried pumping a couple times in the mornings just to try to introduce him because he will eventually need to bottle feed).
The good news is that we get plenty of sleep at night, but during the day I am pretty much camped out on the couch watching TV with the little one attached to the nipple. And my smartphone is pretty much my new best friend as I constantly use it to consult Dr. Google about pretty much EVERYTHING that Anu does. Sometimes I find helpful answers. But for the most part I just find out that a million other new mommies are just as clueless as I am and are wondering the exact same things.
I've told DH that sometimes when I'm nursing Anu or when he falls asleep in my arms, I feel like a mommy gorilla. Why a gorilla, you ask? Maybe it's just the mental image of this squirmy little primate across my big chest. But you know something? That mommy gorilla I picture doesn't take infant care classes, or read baby books, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't google search about her baby. She just figures it out on her own.
I'd like to try to be as smart a mammal as that. Lose the internet advice dependency and just go with my instincts.
And now since baby is asleep, I will be the mommy cat who briefly escapes from her kitten as she goes to the kitchen to refuel.