PIO: piece of....

Well, it finally happened:  Last night we had our first PIO freakout/meltdown.

As I mentioned before, my neighbor had been coming over at 7:30 every night to give me the PIO shot. Whichever side she was doing the shot on, I would lean the opposite leg onto the couch to shift my weight onto it, and then she would stick me faster than I knew what happened lol.

Anyway Thursday night, since I had been laying in bed pretty much all day, DH decided to go ahead and give me the shot so I could stay near the bed.  After cleaning my left side with the alcohol swab, I leaned into the same position, and DH gave the shot perfectly: just a little pinch, didn't hurt.  I was so proud of him.  So we assumed last night should be just as easy, but no.

First of all, I was watching TV and then DH turned the TV off.  I was like "Hey! I was watching it! That was my distraction!" So he turned it back on.  I got into position, and DH made the stupid mistake of saying "Are you ready?" Now why'd he have to do that? Now I was anticipating it.  And when he tried to stick me it actually HURT this time, and I moved a little as a reflex.  Great.  So DH changed the needle and we tried again.  Same thing happened, and then he got mad: "Why do you keep moving?? The needle was halfway in and when you move it comes out!"  I said he must have been doing it too slow if it was able to "come out" that quickly.

He went next door to ask my neighbor if she could do it.  She wasn't there, but her roommate said she should be nearby; she just went for a walk.  However, she had left her phone at the apt so there was no way of calling her.  So I just sat on the couch waiting and crying because I was too chicken to let DH try again.  I'm not sure if I was more worried about him hurting me or about screwing up and wasting needles.  

Finally at 8:25 (hey, they say to do the shot "within the same hour" so we're good) I was about ready to give in and let DH try again after he suggested maybe I should lay down flat.  So I went to the bed and then my neighbor walked in, so of course we let her do the shot instead.  Then, she took the used needle and made DH practice stabbing an orange.  She goes "Look, here's her butt.  Just *STAB* it in there real quick like that.  See?"  Well I tell you DH stabbed the heck out of that orange lol!  Then he looked at me and said "You're right. I think I WAS too slow with it."

So now I'm not sure what will happen tonight. I still don't know if I trust DH with a needle...lol! I'll take any tips from you ladies out there.


On a side note: since Thursday's transfer, a lot of people have been asking me "What are you gonna do if you have triplets???" Even though the chances are low, I know there's still that possibility.  Yikes. We wouldn't mind twins, but if we found out all 3 implanted I think I would mostly be worried about whether or not my body would be able to handle it.  But we are against selectively aborting, so if that did happen we would just take the best care of my body and pray for the best.  Whatever will be, will be. :)

I'm "unofficially pregnant!!!!!"

This morning's embryo transfer was full of lots of good news and surprises:

First of all, it turns out that our 2 late-maturing eggs did fertilize after all, so we have a total of 6 little embies! They are of course a little behind on the growing, so they are both at 4 cells right now.  Out of our initial 4 embies, 2 of them are right on target at 8 cells (my RE gave them an "A" and an "A+"!) and the other 2 are growing a little slower at 5 cells now.  My RE said that for our age group, 2 should be enough.  But he decided he wanted to go ahead and transfer one of the 5-cells as well, for "insurance" as he put it.  He thinks that our other 3 should be able to make it to freeze.  However, the embryologist said that one of the 4-cells may have some problem.  She said it's "too big" or "too uneven."  We'll see.

I'm just so excited that right now I am PUPO with 3 little embabies!!!! (To my readers unfamiliar with the lingo: no it has nothing to do with the life cycle of a caterpillar. ;) It means "pregnant until proven otherwise")

The lab gave us a couple pictures today.  I joked with DH that all the Fertile Facebookers who post a million ultrasound pics on their page, they never get to have THESE!  lol (Don't worry, I have absolutely no intention of putting these on FB)

Here are our 3 embryos pre-transfer:

And post-transfer:

So now I am on bedrest for 3 days to help these little ones snuggle up nice and tight.  I am trying my best to lay/sit as still as I can for long periods of time.  My legs get awfully fidgety though, so I'm trying to fight it lol!

DH is being very sweet helping out.  I had read that pineapple (or particularly pineapple core) is supposed to help with implantation, so he went out to the grocery store to buy me one.  Then he said he wanted to make a list of what we have to eat, so he wrote out a "menu" for me, sectioned by "proteins," "veggies," "fruit," "dairy," "carbs,"  and best of all "condom." You would think that's his way of abbreviating "condiments," except the list includes: peanut butter, cashew butter, soup, and pickles.... He says "condom" is his own category lol! 

We've got embies!!!

The doctor's office called me a little before noon today:  Out of the 9 eggs they got, 4 of them are now fertilized!!! They said there were 2 more they did ICSI on, but trying to get them to mature so we could end up with 6.  I would be more than thrilled if they did, but I know the chances are slim.  I'm just so ecstatic that we actually have 4 of our OWN little embryos out there waiting for us.  GROW, EMBIES, GROW!


On a side note, I have to say that DH and I are both really surprised about our recovery from yesterday.  I had always thought that DH would come out of this procedure grasping his junk and whimpering with pain.  Instead, I was the one all crampy and sore, waddling around and needing help getting into the car.  At home, DH only sat on ice for about 20-30 minutes.  But only because I requested him to for good measure, not because he felt he needed it.  He has really not been in much pain at all.  Meanwhile,all day yesterday it hurt me to stand up, sit down, lay down, etc.  I almost freaked out thinking I might be getting OHSS last night when I saw I had gained 5 pounds, but I was not having any other severe OHSS symptoms.  So I've just been drinking plenty of water and when I got up this morning, my weight was back to normal.

Also, I had my first PIO shot last night.  And once again, my neighbor did it for me.  She actually came to my door in the afternoon and asked me what time to do the shot, and I hadn't even asked her to lol!  But she seems so eager to stick me, and is so gentle with it that maybe I'll make it a regular thing haha.  DH did help by drawing up the PIO and then massaging the area for me afterwards, so it's not like he's completely out of the process. ;)  Here's hoping tonight's shot goes just as smoothly.

MESA and Egg retrieval story

Just got back home from the egg retrieval and MESA! (That is, after stopping for breakfast afterwards- we were starving!!) Everything went very smoothly; piece of cake!  Here is the long story:

This morning I woke up around 5:30, feeling very nervous.  I couldn't tell if it was butterflies in my stomach or just my ovaries feeling gigantic and torturing me.  I woke DH up around 6:20 and we started getting ready.  I got a small bag of stuff together(socks, jockstrap, pads, a couple oranges), which we ended up not even needing because the facility provided stuff for us.  Our friend (today's chauffeur) ate a little bit (making me jealous lol!) and then we hit the road.

We got to the facility at 7:15, and DH was the first to sign paperwork, then they brought him back.  I saw his doctor walk through the door at about 7:35, and DH said they started around 7:45.  First, they gave him a couple shots in the sac to numb him.  He says it didn't hurt too bad and after that he didn't feel anything and they went to work getting those swimmers out.  DH says first the doctor collected a sample and then left the room to examine it (he said it was weird that he was left with his balls just hanging open for a few minutes lol). Doctor said he had plenty of sperm, but he wanted to get some more for freezing, so he took a little more, and then stitched him up.  I was so surprised when DH came walking into the waiting room at around 8:25 all smiles, didn't seem in pain at all.  (I think the pain meds still haven't worn off quite yet; we'll see how we're doing in a few hours).

All while DH was in the operating room, I was waiting outside feeling almost nauseous with nervousness.  Don't know why because at least I got to be asleep and DH had to be awake.  Anyway, my anesthesiologist came out around 8:15, then my RE arrived at the office about 5 minutes later.  At 8:30 they took me back to get changed and then I went to the operating room.  The anesthesiologist gave me a numbing shot before doing the IV, which didn't hurt a bit.  As he was putting the IV in, my RE got me into position on his end and assured me that I wouldn't feel or remember a thing.  The anesthesiologist told me he was giving something to relax me, and the RE said "You'll close your eyes and doze off in just a couple minutes."  I looked at the clock and saw it was 8:45.  Then I looked at the ceiling and started feeling sleepy, but I was so determined not to close my eyes while I was still conscious lol.  The last thing I remember was the nurse putting the blood pressure monitor on my arm, then I woke up and it was 9:15. (Staples button: that was easy!)  I was feeling pretty groggy and definitely crampy, but nothing too bad.  The nurse gave me some juice and Tylenol and after 15 minutes I was ready to get up.  Had to get dressed veeeeeeery slllloooooowly because of the cramps but it was still manageable.

So they managed to get 9 eggs from me.  I won't hear a maturity/fertilization report until tomorrow.  I'm just praying that this is enough.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Last night's trigger shot went surprisingly well.  However, DH was not the one giving it.  Now don't worry, he didn't chicken out.  I just did.  I was so concerned about getting this shot JUST RIGHT, and I somewhat jokingly asked "should we find out if there's a licensed nurse in our building who can do it?"  And DH replied, "....IS there a nurse here?"  So I decided to find out.  I went next door to ask my neighbor who pretty much knows everything about everybody.  No nurses here, but it turns out she has gone through EMT training and she mentioned that she had a friend she helped by giving "those pregnancy shots."  How convenient! :)
So I had her come over, DH helped to mix and draw up the HCG, then at precisely 8:30 I leaned over the couch and let my neighbor stick me.  Didn't feel a thing; that was easy! Of course, just a few minutes later I could definitely feel something (and my bum is still sore)!
This morning I went ahead and decided to test the trigger with an HPT, and sure enough it turned positive instantly.  So at least I know we got it right! But it was very weird for me to see that, wondering if I'll ever see another positive.

I'm trying to keep calm for tomorrow morning and pray that everything goes smoothly.  I think it's the anesthesia that's got me worried the most.  I'm just ready for it to be over and to have peace with whatever happens.
There's a song that my mom used to sing at church a long time ago, and lately it's been stuck in my head quite a bit.  Particularly the line:

I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future

I think it's very appropriate to our situation, and I pray that others like us may find the same comfort

Pulling the trigger

This morning was my last office visit & u/s before the egg retrieval...which is Monday! AUGH!!!

So today we saw about 11-12 follicles.  But of those, only 5 are really the lead follies (ranging from 16-18mm).  Dr said he didn't want to continue stims because he is most concerned about those leads, and doesn't want them to become post-mature by the retrieval.  As for the other eggs, he says they *may* be able to mature them in the lab after retrieval.  We shall see.

Tonight is the HCG trigger! This is my first intramuscular injection, so DH is stepping up his game and doing it for me.  This time he will be sticking a 1&1/2 inch long needle in my ass instead of doodling on it.  What joy!

Movin' right along

Here I am, after 8 days of stims and boy let me tell you: the emotions are going wild! Especially yesterday morning, just about every little thing was making me cry.  Even just looking at my bookshelf and the waterworks would just start from looking at the TITLES of some books. *sigh* I'm such a crybaby.
And, I probably shouldn't have been quick to say I'd be a "pro" at these injections.  The Menopur mixing had been a little tricky for me at first, but certainly even more after trying to mix TWO vials.  The other night, I just had the hardest time trying to draw up the saline without getting huge air bubbles in it.  And after that, trying not to let the plunger move because it apparently has a mind of its own when there's too much air in the vials.  After I'd done the very best I could, I was left with what was definitely not one FULL cc of solution, and I nearly broke down crying thinking that I just couldn't get it right and it would screw everything up.  Last night I made DH mix it for me.  He decided to forego the Q-cap and just use the long needle to draw up the meds instead.  He actually seemed to be handling that syringe a lot better than I did.  Still ended up with a *little* less than 1 full cc, but I suppose it was the best we could get.

Well yesterday afternoon I had my u/s and right away he saw that my lining was looking great at 7.7mm, so I guess the Menopur was working after all. (Oh, to answer a previous comment: yes, I have been taking the baby aspirin so I guess that is helping too).  Then we checked what my ovaries are doing, and I think he only counted about 9 follicles.  Mostly ranging from 11-14.5mm, but there were a couple small ones too.  He said there were 6 "lead" follicles that he should definitely be able to use.  According to him, everything was looking good and so there was no need to up any meds.  However, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  I guess I was hoping we could see more follies than that...I guess to have more of a "buffer" for error.  But hey, if we get *just enough* to have a healthy baby, that's good enough for me.  I have my next u/s tomorrow morning, so we will see how the follies are doing.  My ovaries have been KILLING me these last couple of days (seriously, today I can barely walk without feelin' the pain) so I hope that means we'll see some really GOOD ones.  I should be triggering tomorrow night, and then Monday is the egg retrieval/MESA.  This past week, the fear finally got to me and I started feeling really nervous and queasy looking at the chart at the Dr's office that explains the retrieval.  Yikes!

Funny story: At the appointment yesterday, the Dr. told DH "[Your doctor] should be calling you within the next couple of days to let you know what you need before the MESA. Now, he'll be doing it without the anesthesia; I believe he does that with most of his patients. But if you want the anesthesia, just let them know beforehand."  DH just quietly nodded and said "Ok."  But as soon as the doc and nurse left the room, he starts hyperventilating and goes:
"No anethesia?? I'm not doing it! I'm not doing it!"
"Well ok then, ask for the anesthesia if you're scared."
This conversation went on for some time after the appointment:
"I'm not doing it without anestheeeeeeesiaaaaaaaaa" (in his acting voice).
"He said most guys do it without anesthesia so it must not be that bad."
"NO! NO! I'm not doing it! I'm not cutting my balls, I'm not doing it!"
Then again, in the car:
"I mean, WHY would anybody do it without anesthesia? Do you know how much it hurts just to get hit with a ball there?"
Suddenly, I realized there was a communication barrier. ".....honey," I said, "When he said no anesthesia he just meant you won't be asleep, but of course they're going to use a LOCAL anesthetic."
"OH REALLY?!!!" DH lets out a huge sigh of relief.  "Well, I might be ok with a local anesthetic....yeah I think I'll be ok."
Poor DH.  Just goes to show we gotta be careful in how we communicate when we're caught up in all the medical lingo.

And another funny thing that happened this morning:  You see, DH has this funny habit of doodling on things when he is on the phone.  But instead of little squiggles or pictures, he just writes a word that pops up in conversation, and writes that word over and over and over and over again.  Kinda cute actually, but access to any writing utensil while he is on the phone can be dangerous.  I think he's only ever destroyed a couple important (but not irreplaceable) papers of mine.  But most of the time, there is no paper, so instead he doodles on the computer table. Or best of all, he is relaxing in the computer chair with his feet propped up on the wall and doodles on his thighs instead.  That's right, on his LEGS.  Even yesterday while we were waiting at the pharmacy, he got out his pen and started doodling on his leg.
So this morning, I woke up and was just lounging around in my underwear.  Then I went to the bathroom and as I was washing up, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a bruise on my backside. I was thinking "Oh crap! What is going on? Am I having a bad reaction to the meds? Let me see what is th....."  Turns out it was not a bruise.  Instead, there were several illegible words written on me.  So I went back to the bedroom to show DH.
"Um, honey? Did you DOODLE on my ass while I was sleeping?"
"What? No"
"Then what is THIS?"
"What is that?"
"It's YOUR DOODLING!"
"Oh....I think I put my leg on you, that's why."
That's my goofy hubby for ya.